Man, I don't want to be cliche, but I'm really beginning to hate this time of year. I have been so down lately and I just can't seem to get my head back into it. My kids are home all week this week and next and all I want to do is nap. I'm not sure what my problem is. I've been away from 'home' at this time of the year many times before now. C and I are at a great spot in our relationship so that's not it. My kids are behaving as well as can be expected. I mean, they all got new ds games for Christmas so they've been spending a lot of time with that and then playing on the Wii when we let them.

I feel like I need a break. I just want to sleep. I'm hoping that I'm not slipping back into a depression. I need to remember to take my happy pills on a regular basis so I don't slip back into it.

I've been stuck in my head a lot lately. I have been 'off' my plan since Tuesday night. I made it through our turkey dinner with just my salad and some turkey and then boom in the night I ate all the sugar cookies my mom had sent us. Don't worry, she only sent six--one for each of us.

Like I said before, C and I are at a wonderful spot in our relationship. It's taken us a long time to get here but one of the first real signs of my depression is feeling like I'm all alone when I know that there are people around that care for me. Again, I don't know if it's depression or just this time of year and being away from my family.

My mom and I cried on the phone together the other day because we don't get to see each other. I got very upset with my sister on the phone when I called my parent's on Christmas. She was very short with me and then pretty much hung up on me when everyone got there. My mom didn't even know that I called. And I decided I wasn't going to call back to get my feelings hurt again. She was pretty pissed when she found out that I had called and no one told her. My sister is turning back into that person I can't stand. She is very selfish and it's not something that needs to happen when you have kids. She has some jackass living with her that hasn't held a real job since before he moved in--which was sometime before I moved to Texas. He had a job at the store where my mom and sister work but got fired for calling in too many times. Supposedly he was vomiting blood but never went to the dr. If he would have gotten a dr's note he would have kept his job.

I guess my sis has gone back to asking my parents for money on a regular basis. When I talked to my mom one day last week she's pretty much said that she's cutting my sister off cause she (mom) and dad are not working full time jobs so that jackass can sit on his ass not having a job.

Okay, need to go tend to the kids. Baby is napping and I need to figure out the food situation for tonight.