Overwhelmed??

I'm not even sure that's the right word to use? It has such a negative connotation to it. And this isn't a negative 'thing'. I'm overwhelmed with joy, hope, happiness...I'm also overwhelmed with the trials of a four year old...I'm happy that my kids are doing as well as they are. I mean, I fully expected to have kids with some sort of dysfunction. I mean, I am, after all, their mother.

I had a nice conversation with my children's youth pastor a few weeks ago before our Saturday night service started. We were talking about how shy Syd is and how it takes her just longer to open up and participate when she tries something new. Youth pastor asked how she was doing transitioning to middle school and although it's been a bumpy ride emotionally, she seems to be doing ok. He asked about grades and that's one area where I'm not even concerned. My baby is in all the Pre-AP classes that sixth grade offers at her school. She is academically gifted. Then youth pastor asked me about the boy child (he's in 7th grade this year btw). Again, he's in all Pre-AP classes minus the math class. Oh, and I should say, they both have straight A's. He didn't quite ask a question but I let him know that in our house (Corey and I were both sitting right next to each other) failure isn't an option. We've NEVER let the kids not like school. They are expected to work. They are expected to keep their grades up. I know way too many people who are 'ok' that their kids complain about having to go to school, or misbehave while they are at school, or whatever about school. We have NEVER given the kids that option. I expected that one day we'd get to the point where they all fought getting up in the mornings and while I do have to enthusiastically encourage Syd to get up in the mornings, we've never really had a problem.

I know that I'm lucky that my kids don't fight as much as other kids. I know I'm lucky that not only do they not fight going to school, or getting up in the mornings, or whatever, I'm lucky that they don't fight with each other very often. I've talked to friends and family whose kids have started screaming matches with each other or even thrown punches at each other. I KNOW that I am NOT perfect in any way-and I'm totally making up this parenting thing as we go-but I am happy that my kids have not tried to respond to each other in those ways. It is not allowed in our house. We have truly tried to reinforce that your family is always your family and they are the ones that you can TOTALLY count on. I don't care if I'm talking to the four year old or the twelve year old. They know that we are family and that's all there is to it!

Remember

I have so many things that I hope I don't forget when I get older. Like the other day when I took LadyT to chickfila for the first real time. An actual chickfila with a play place (like McDonald's or Burger King). I had a coupon that expired Thursday so I decided we'd head over there for lunch. I let some of my friends know we were going and we went. Two of my gf's met us there and we had a nice enjoyable lunch. It was fun to hang out with the girls and let the kids be kids!

We were on the way home, well, to the store before home, and I was getting ready to merge onto the highway and little missT asked if she could cheer for me. Of course I said, YES, not quite sure what to expect...she sat in the back seat chanting MOMMA, MOMMA, MOMMA...for our 10 minute drive to the store. I chuckled the whole way and told her thanks when we got our van parked. She told me I did a good job driving. Like a four year old would know any different??? But I loved it anyway. And I don't want to forget her sweetness. That was one of our good days. I want to remember her sweetness when she's being a monster and screaming at me because she didn't get whatever it was that she wanted that day in that particular minute.

Unfortunately we've been having some bad days a little more often...I'm not quite sure why?? She had a HUGE melt down at the library on Wednesday. I had to hold both her arms and walk her out in front of me because doing the one handed thing was going to make books fall off of the bookshelves she was trying to use to stop me from walking her out. Then there was the ten minute drive home with her screaming at me because she didn't get to check library books out due to the fit.

I want to be able to remember the times when she tells me I'm the bestest mommy in the world when she's starting that head-tilted, lip-quivering, whiney voiced complaint when she didn't get her way, or have the last say, or interrupt my conversation for the thousandth time just in the last 20 minutes since her dad has been up out of bed.

Ok, I know why some of this is happening...we've had a scheduling change and she's rebelling against change. The man changed to third shift awhile ago. Um, the second week of August.

She the one child of mine that wants, no NEEDS, to know exactly what each day is going to entail. If I tell her we need to run to the grocery store she will ask me every five minutes from the time I've told her until the time we leave for the store. On days when we have a regular routine (Tuesday=my Bible study group with a few kids, Wendesday=ABC club AFTER lunch, Saturday=Church AFTER dinner, which comes AFTER LUNCH!) She doesn't ask as many questions those days because she's grown accustomed to those days. On the days when we're invited out for a playdate I can't tell her where we're going until the morning of the plans, simply because I can't handle the five thousand questions that will come with my declaration.

So, I know that with the schedule change things are different in our house. And this is the first time we've been involved in an activity that meets weekly outside of our home (other than church) so that's different too. I don't want to keep my child home just to keep my sanity. I really don't but I'm so not kidding when I tell you that some days she makes me feel K-RAY-ZEE. Not kidding.

Ok, I need to move. It's taken me at least 40 minutes just to get all this out due to the four children in my home and their needs-it is lunchtime-what was I thinking!

I really do love this life. And I KNOW that we will get through this. I know that God loves me and I'm going to learn my lesson from this life trial and come out stronger on the other side.