Wanna laugh??

Here's a funny little story just to give you your laugh for the day. My friend has this kid that does young astronauts after school most Wednesdays. She picks up both her daughters today and goes and waits for almost ten minutes wondering why the boy has not come out of the school yet. Said friend is smart enough that she reminded the boy that he would be having YA after school and she would be picking him up later. But she still stands and waits until oldest of the daughters says "HE HAS YA"

So, we're home now. One child less than normal. I'll have to go pick up the boy later.

So, I've been having some WOW moments lately. I know that this weight loss thing is supposed to be gradual to stick. They've done studies and all and have said that if you lose your weight at a reasonable amount per week you should be able to keep the weight off. And something like 90% of people that lose significant amounts of weight end up gaining it all back. So, I've been contemplating how I can be one of those in the 10% of losers that keep it off forever.

I still don't have a solid answer for that...I know you have to have a support system in place. I think that I have that. I have an email buddy that I am accountable to for all things diet. Unfortunately, I don't think that my husband would ever tell me if I were getting fat again. He's just not that kind of guy. I have a scale that I step on every single day so I think I would know if I started to regain and be able to stop it before it starts. I am hoping to break the scale addiction when I return to 'normal' and am of normal weight. Maybe I won't feel the need to step on it everyday like the whore I am and see what she has to say. I'd also like to think that when I'm 'normal' I can eat whatever I want and gain a pound. I KNOW that is untrue. I should have a plan but right now I am just so in awe that I have actually stuck with a diet and gotten to where I am today.

Of course that brings other things. I keep thinking 'I've come so far. I can stop any time now." "Oh, a little bite here won't hurt." I've been doing all of this self sabotage lately. Mind you the scale has not jumped up. I'm not 'cheating'. My inner self is just being overly active lately. I can hear her whisper all day. Sometimes she even YELLS at me. It's incredibly bothersome.

Ranting of a lunatic. Can't help it people. Just a few of the many things in my head.

The key to life...

Hehe, thought if I headed it like that you'd be inclined to read??? Yah, well, I found the secret to my strength for daily life...SLEEP. I got home from boy scouts last night and took a benadryl (been having some sinusy issues). I was in bed by 9:30 and sleeping by about 9:31 :) I can remember waking up at some point thinking BATHROOM! I rolled over and slept until my alarm went off. No snooze today or there would have been a puddle in the bed!

Sleep and coffee. My parents sent me this box with the twelve days of coffee for Christmas and I've been checking the flavors out. Today was gingerbread. I shoulda just given it to the other lady I have coffee with but I didn't. Needless to say I dumped the pot out and had to make some regular coffee. I'm on my first real cupa the day.

Finally got word from the renters in our house in IN...they want to close after they close on their house in Florida so they can use the $$ they make from that for a down payment. I'm going to try and call my realtor today and let her know what's going on. I can't wait until it's done and over with. I'd like to be rid of it. It'll probably happen sometime in April or May.

Okay, need to move!

Ah, naptime

I swear I'm going to go lay down on the couch and see about snoozing while baby is down today. I've stayed up past my bedtime the last two nights in a row. And let me tell you when my alarm goes off at 5:40 it's way too early for me to have to get up.

The boy has scouts tonight and it doesn't start until 6:30 so we'll probably be there until eight. That means later bedtime for the kids. They're usually in bed by 8pm.

Feeling kinda blah lately. Started doing some of that 'organizational' stuff I talked about yesterday. Going to get the finances organized and figured out. It's a little depressing when you look at it all on paper. I've sat down and written out how many debts we have, to whom the $$ is owed, how much $$ is owed, and the length remaining, and apr on each debt. I didn't have the nerve to actually total it all out. Now I have to do that and come up with a plan to get it all paid off SOON. I'm actually quite tired of living like this.

Okay, dishes and then couch.

And all that could have been

I really wish I could shake this fog. I have so many things that I want to do and I just don't have the motivation to do them. I'm going to get organized in my home. We've been here since the first week of June and now I know where I want things to be. When we got here I just kinda put things were I thought they might go. Now that we've been here and I see how things work together I can see that I need to do some tweaking.

I had a great day yesterday with hub being home. It was nice to be able to hang out with just him and the baby. I was frustrated when we were at the mall but other than that it was a really nice day. He and I sat on the couch talking and watching tv most of the afternoon. It's nice because usually he's such a quiet guy. We actually joke about our conversations because usually it's just me going on and on and him inserting a grunt or yes every now and then.

Okay, I think that I might just be feeling overwhelmed right now. I had a nice little break down on the phone this morning with Kim from the cult food store. My stuff will be in the air TODAY she promised. I tried really hard not to be mean and I explained to her how hard it was hard not to get nasty but I was very frustrated because the woman on the phone last Wednesday promised me the stuff was in a box and ready to ship. So she'd have to forgive me if I didn't believe her.

Alrighty, going to go do some stuff and watch some tv while baby is napping. Have to go to Walmart after she gets up. Ugh.

Forgot to mention...215.6 today, was the same yesterday. Maybe tomorrow it will move again.

Fair warning

Consider yourself warned. I could get pretty lippy with this one. I am MAD. Ok, PISSED IS BETTER. I joined this club right--kinda goes along with the cult--hehe, not really but it's part of the cult foods. So anyway, I joined this club. I get these auto ships of my cult food once a month. My ship date is supposed to be the 19th of every month. I had NO problems last time (NOV). I changed a couple of things this month. Talked to a real person to change. No problems right. Well, I think it was last weekend I realized I still have NOT received my Dec order. So, I drop an email to my contact and in short she deals with it first thing Monday morning. She called me at 9am and said ok, done. Well, I still hadn't gotten a confirmation email or a voicemail giving me a tracking number so I call cult headquarters on Wednesday and talk to real live person, Veronica, and explain, stuff should have shipped Dec 19 still don't know what's going on. Haven't had an email, no phonecall, what's going on. She ASSURES me that my products are in a box in the warehouse ready to ship because she can't see a ship date on her screen and that's what it means when it's not there.

So, fast forward to today. Still no email. Still no phone call. So, I decide to call again. Well, after being placed on hold for 17 minutes I finally get to talk to a real live person. The 17 minute wait had me a little miffed for starters. Well, when I explain to this girl, Sara, or Susan, or whatever, what has happened she asks me if she can put me on hold while she investigates the situation. After what seemed like forever-I listened to two songs on the ipod-she comes back and explains to me that the computer has made an error and my next ship date is sometime in FEBRUARY. *sidebar rant here--when I talked to Veronica on Wednesday she helped me get onto their website to see what was going on with my stuff and while I'm sitting in front of the computer while talking on phone with her I asked--this says that my next ship date is Feb 20, that doesn't make any sense. Even if this one is late I should still have one in January sometime.*

Back to today and little witchy on phone. I nicely explain to her that I am running LOW on FOOD and NEED this order. She tells me that the earliest it will ship is SUNDAY OR MONDAY. She also tells me that she will drop and email to her supervisor requesting that I receive expedited shipping at no cost to me. Now, I'm usually an even keeled person. I don't fault people for the mistake of computers. I'm asking her, so what you're saying is that I should have my stuff by next WEDNESDAY. At which point she reminds me that I am getting FREE EXPEDITED SHIPPING. At that comment I tell her that it's not my fault they made that mistake and since I was supposed to have my stuff TWO WEEKS AGO I darn well better get free super fast shipping.

So, I'm pissed to say the least. I really don't think I would have been so irate if she didn't act like she was doing me a favor by requesting that I get the expedited shipping. I get free regular shipping because I passed the $200 mark. Talk about shitty customer service.

Ah, out of my system now.

I did get a nice little heart rate rise when I got off the phone though. My adrenaline was pumping and I was angry so I acted like my stair case was in fact a stepper and I did about five minutes worth of stepping. I'm sure my buns will feel it tomorrow.

Okay, going to go pay attention to my husband.

What am I looking forward to?

I was just reading some motivational posts on my one site and I came across this one...ten things that you are most looking forward to (or in my world, reasons I'm losing). In no particular order...

1. to be less than obese
2. to have the opportunity to buy cute clothes because I can
3. to weigh less than my husband for once
4. to set a good example to my children
5. to have less leg to shave
6. to WOW my family when I go home next summer
7. to give my husband a TROPHY wife! :D
8. I want to know what skinny feels like--it's NEVER happened for me before.

Okay, that's what I can think of right now. I know that there are more. Right now the biggest motivator that I have is going home next summer. I want to be at my goal by then so when I get out of the car people just scream!

I'm ready to focus on me. I have had a struggle with this simply because I've tried so hard to make everyone else happy. I am almost 33 yo and it's about time I start being selfish. If I don't take care of me then who will? And when I'm not here due to some weight related health issue who will take care of my kids?

Speaking of kids...baby is rustling around in her bed. Better go get her up before she strips herself again--her new favorite thing to do! Get naked and pee all over!

Welcome to the new year

I am stoked about it being a new year. Don't get me wrong...I analyze things all the time anyway. New years just gives me a reason to set newer, updated goals. Within the next few months I will work on getting myself better organized. I am a stay at home mom and have time to do things when the baby is napping. When we moved in here I just put things where I thought I would need them. Well, after being here 6+ months I know that I need to rearrange some stuff.

I will continue on my weight loss journey. I believe that through all of last year I lost a total of 50+ pounds-solid-meaning that even with my most recent time off plan I've still maintained that 50. From being my biggest at 285 I have dropped just over 65 total pounds. Today I weighed in at 217.2. Well, here we go again. I've decided to set mini goals related to my weight loss. I will exercise daily--including walking when the kids go back to school, my breathing video, and maybe some yoga. I will check in with my email buddy daily--that's accountability for me. I will drink all my water daily. I will journal daily--maybe not always on line but that's okay. Some things are better left just for me. And I will eat on my plan daily. Those five things I plan to accomplish each day. I've also set a goal of being totally compliant until Jan 31 or Feb 1--depending. Weight wise my next mini goal is to get under my 211 roadblock. Both physically and mentally. Once I hit 210.8 my next goal will be to reach onederland. Something UNDER 200. After that I will continue to my goal of 170 ten pounds at a time.

I will get a handle on our finances. I have said for many years that if we did not have the debt that we have we would be just fine monthly. I would not have to worry about what bills to pay with each paycheck. I will figure out a plan to pay off some debt. First things first, I need to figure out exactly how much debt we have. Then I can figure out what % we will pay down in 2008. I will also start actively saving $$. Meaning, each paycheck I will deposit $$ into our savings account. I'm thinking of taking the kids to the library tomorrow and I will check out some $$ books. I've read parts of some that I think I'd like to explore further. Pay it down by Jean Chatzky and Debt proof living by Mary Hunt. Maybe I can start implementing some of their ideas.

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. Three newly revised goals. Best of luck to me and everyone else that uses goals to move through life.