Vomit

I feel as if I need to vomit some of this crap out. I am holding on to a whole bunch of garbage and I need to get it out before I turn my head and puke it out on someone that doesn't need to be caught in it.

I've been dealing with stupid stupid renters for two years. I am at the end of my rope with them. They are stupid and will not give me a working phone number to be able to contact them. I'm done being nice. Their lease was up at the end of October and I sent them a renewal. Told them that they could re-sign and if they did rent would go up $150/month (rent has not increased in the two years that they've lived in MY HOUSE)...or they could go month to month but rent would increase $175/month. Well, I've not gotten a signed lease back from them so I'm assuming the larger amount. I told them that it was non-negotiable. So, since they don't want to pay the higher amount they decided not to pay at all. Oh, and they're still living there. Well, HELLO STUPID...if I was a charity I'd have my family members living there not paying me rent. Get out of MY HOUSE! And I can't call anyone cause the numbers I have for them have been disconnected. Tried to send them a certified letter and they aren't signing for it.

Our computer sucks. We, and by we I mean C, ordered the kids computers for Christmas. He ordered them Nov 28th just so they'd be here in time for Christmas. He got a phone call today from Dell that they canceled our order because of some authorization problem. Not a problem on our part but a glitch in their system...we got dell credit and they didn't recognize that. So, today, or last night, they canceled our order. They called C today to talk to him. Why could they have not called last night before the order was canceled to see what the problem was? Instead they canceled it and our order is scheduled to be here Dec. 30. Hum, not in time for Christmas. Stupid cuss cuss cuss. When they re-submitted the order today we got bumped to the end of the line. Even tho it was their problem we're going to miss out.

I'm half temped to say screw it and just get the kids dsi's for christmas instead. who knows.

Our internet connection sucks. I've been trying to check our bank statement for the last twenty minutes and my page keeps timing out and making me put my login crap back in. Time warner cable SUCKS.

Ok, think I'm done for now. still trying to check our balance. then bed.

Another day one for me please

Well, today is going to be another day one for me. I've gained back more than half of the weight I lost over the last few years and it's time to part with it for good this time. I'm planning on having a nice strong start for 40 days in a row. Not sure why I picked 40 days. I feel like I'm running around in the wilderness not knowing what to do with things. So, forty days seemed like a good start. I'm hoping to drop at least 25 pounds in those days.

I've already had two shakes today and my water is more than half way down. Guess we'll see what happens. I've got a small throbbing headache going on right now. No biggie.

The vacation...it's over....

Well, I'm awake. That's got to count for something. I'm tired. And crampy. My parents left yesterday afternoon. We had a blast! I know we didn't do everything that they wanted to do but we needed some easy days with no major trips just to be able to catch our breath again. We took an all day trip to the USS Lexington in Corpus Christi. It took us at least two and a half hours to get there. And that was with one stop each way. We did the Alamo again . And found one of the missions. Told them next time they come it needs to be in October or November because we'd be able to do more outside stuff. It was just a really hot week. We went to the duck pond at 9am one of the mornings. When we got home it was right about 10:30 and 94 degrees with a heat index of 103.

I decided to get right onto my diet and get moving again. I've blown up again. I can't find my little notebook. I like to keep track of my stuff. I need to finish cleaning now that my parents are gone. I got quite a bit of stuff done before they got here. Now I just need to finish organizing stuff. Anyway, diet...239.2. I'm hoping to drop big numbers this week. I need to drop at least 30 pounds and figure out how to KEEP it off this time. I know I can lose it, I just don't know what to do once I stop "dieting' cause then I gain it all back. YUCKO.

Ok, gonna go work on my latest project.

I think I need a vacation from this life I've been living. I'm exhausted. I knew that having four kids would be work. I know that it's my job to parent them. I don't want to push that off on anyone. I just need a few minutes BY MYSELF to be able to save up some energy instead of giving it all away. I'm tired. I have PMS. I never get enough sleep. I'm cranky, grouchy, and mad all rolled up into one.

Tried to go to my second graders award show today. Stupid thing was supposed to start at 8:30. I signed in at 8:10. We, myself and the three year old, had to stand in the hallway outside the cafeteria for 20 minutes waiting. She decided to throw a fit. We never even got to go in the room because the school is so super organized and doesn't have an award show every day this week and two last week at 8:30. So, I never got to see what Ms. Morgana received as awards. Crab cried all the way home about wanting to get her sister. Well, it's bad enough that I get yelled at on a pretty regular basis but these other kids parents certainly don't need to hear it.

Once I got the monster situated and myself calmed down (self inflicted time out) I had to run out. I had to deposit money into the girl scout account. Decided to drive through Burger King to get some food for the monster to eat while I waited at the bank. Should mention that the bank is inside the grocery store so I was planning on picking some stuff up while I was already out.

Did the drive thru thing at BK. Waited 10 minutes from when I pulled up to place my order until when they gave me the bag. No thanks , no nothing. Ok, whatever right?? So, I go across the street to the grocery. Get a prime parking spot. Open the back door to get the kid out, grab the bag or food and NO potatoes. Now, normally, not such a big deal right? But I made the mistake of asking the baby if she wanted POTATOES. So, she's expecting them. Not a good thing.

Next step is into the store. Go over to the bank and hmmm, lets see, one teller working with the guy in front of me for 12 whole stinking minutes. I know, I'm anal and I like to know how long I've been standing here trying to entertain my kid so she doesn't start screaming at everyone else. There is another woman sitting at the desk. She even walked to the teller to help her do something. So,I wait and wait and wait.

Finally get on to shopping, by the time we get to the check out I end up picking the wrong lane and sit there forever waiting for this older couple in front of me to get finished. This cashier was nice enough. That's one of the things I drove all the way over there for, they're customer service is exceptional.

As I've been shopping I decided to go back to Burger King and get my hashbrowns. It really isn't the two dollars. It's about the fact that this particular bk sucks. This isnt' the first time they've 'forgotten' something in my order. So, I park, go in and I keep thinking, just smile and let them know that they forgot my stuff. Of course I get crab manager asking 'what's your problem' I guess they get loads of problems. I didn't even make it up to the counter.

Got home. Got the food into the house. Got my crab onto the toilet and she finally got rid of some extra weight. No wonder she's been so nice to everyone. I guess I'm going to have to start threatening her with those nasty little suppositories if she doesn't start going on a regular basis. I know, I know, tmi but she hasn't gone since Thursday. I'm going to have to start keeping track again. I thought we were past that.

She's sleeping and I'm trying to give all my drama away.

I'm tired. I've been on the verge of tears for days now. I just need a break but one without guilt. I hate that I can't sit down and do nothing without feeling guilty that I need to be doing something. My parents are coming...less than three weeks. My house is tore up from the floor up.

So, sometimes, I feel like I have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say. Other times I feel like I turned on the faucet and can't stop the crap from coming out of my mouth.

Kids are in bed. I've taken an allergy pill and am waiting patiently for it to kick in. I'm hoping to pass out soon and be able to sleep in just a bit tomorrow. Six thirty or seven would be nice. I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow but I volunteered to cover for a friend that's been having some physical issues lately. I told her to let me know if she needed me to cover her. I'm going to call her by about two or so to see if I need to go in. I have to work from 7:45 til about 1:30 on Sunday. I get to see all my adopted children that day. I guess I'll spend the afternoon with my own kids. Sunday's are usually rough. By the time I get home and sit down for a few it's time to get up and get moving again. I have to feed the people. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I need to get more gas for the grill. I'm out so nothing grilled unless I get the motivation to go out and get one of the tanks filled tomorrow.

I guess we'll see what happens.

Like I said, nothin to say. Life is what it is.

HUH

So, I just put the last of the kids to bed. She, one of the middle children, with the personality of a baby, had girl scouts tonight. I know that I haven't been nice enough to keep you up to date with the craziness that is our brownie girl scout troop. I honestly try not to think about it on a regular basis. We have had some 'issues' this year that I'd just like to forget and move past. I will now, however, have to fill you in on one of the mothers that basically accused me of abusing her child in a cafeteria full of people.

This was at the end of February and I apologized for any misunderstanding stating that I was most definitely not intending the hurt the child, only protect her from being walked on my a very big man carrying a box that blocked his view of this young girl. Well, this mom and I have had words, well, ok, she had words and I worked very hard to keep my words to myself. At that time I explained to the leader of the troop that I would no longer be considered a leader, I was not going to be 'in-charge' of other peoples children.

This mom has been very hot and cold with me since then. We went on a trip the the USS Lexington two weekends ago and mom did not go with. Just sent her daughter with us. She starts texting me asking me about daughter. Well, I end up having daughter call mom and that's that. Haven't seen either of them since.

On to the meeting tonight...I was late. Had to send the man with the baby middle child because I was watching the neighbors infant. When I finally come to the meeting I see this mom with another mom that I am not particularly fond of so I walk over to some other moms. Well, before the night is over I'm talking to the two moms-we're sitting on the floor in the hallway at the school because there was a meeting in the cafeteria-our normal meeting place-and crazy mom says to me, "I'm on a new med!"

Huh, I said, do you like it? Seriously, how do you respond to something like that? Seriously...

Can I just say that I guess that explains a lot of the behavior. She's got to have bi-polar or something. That would really explain why she comes in cussing some days and sweet and soft other meetings.

Life, maybe, I'm the crazy one? and she's normal? taking meds to make her normal? I used to get so angry when someone would ask me if I'd been taking my meds. Yah, f-you, whatever! You don't ask someone that?!@

I feel like crying. This blog that I've been following for a few years off and on has just closed itself to the public. OUCH. I never wrote to this mom cause I never had anything worthwhile to say but I looked up her blog at least once a week to see what life she was going to make me laugh at this time. Even when I didn't take time to continue to write in my own blog I'd look this mom up. Once a week, catch up with her and read post secret.

I'm sad and I don't know how in the world to get a hold of her to say 'hey, I wanna keep reading and I'm not going to be a troll and just be mean...I just need to keep up with the peeps.' So, if anyone knows the blog, bite my cookie, tell me how to get a hold of the author. I want to send an email so I can keep reading. Somebody's gotta hook a girl up. Help me out.

My baby

Typed this up yesterday. It didn't post and most of it was lost so I'll try again. I want to be able to tell my kids how cute they were when they were babies.

Ok, so I've been having a blast with the baby these days. She woke up from her nap just now and when I walked in her room to get her (yah, she's still all trapped in the bed cause we NEVER TOLD her it was ok to get out of the big girl bed) she told me that she has a surprise for me. I was nervously excited since she's decided to start gifting me her boogers lately. She asked me if I wanted to 'way down' with her so I got in the bed. She had her hands closed together and handed me my 'gift'. When I reached out to accept it there was nothing there. I asked her what it was and she replied "a pwesent fow yow". She was also nice enough to give me a kiss and cuddle. I love that she loves.

Has it really been that LONG???

I've been meaning to get on here one of these days to make a little noise. I've needed a place to vent and feel that my poor husband should not have to tolerate my rantings on his own every single day. Sometimes I just need someplace to dump some garbage and move on. That's all a girl's saying.

So, life, kinda kept on moving. Right on, with me just riding the current. I'm still fat. I'm still the mom to many kids. That stuff's all the same. Different...attitude, view of life, view of God and all that is God.

Unfortunately I have to do some mommy/wifey things and go balance the checkbook. I'll be coming back. I have to crap some stuff soon or the wrong person is going to get an earfull.