I think I need a vacation from this life I've been living. I'm exhausted. I knew that having four kids would be work. I know that it's my job to parent them. I don't want to push that off on anyone. I just need a few minutes BY MYSELF to be able to save up some energy instead of giving it all away. I'm tired. I have PMS. I never get enough sleep. I'm cranky, grouchy, and mad all rolled up into one.

Tried to go to my second graders award show today. Stupid thing was supposed to start at 8:30. I signed in at 8:10. We, myself and the three year old, had to stand in the hallway outside the cafeteria for 20 minutes waiting. She decided to throw a fit. We never even got to go in the room because the school is so super organized and doesn't have an award show every day this week and two last week at 8:30. So, I never got to see what Ms. Morgana received as awards. Crab cried all the way home about wanting to get her sister. Well, it's bad enough that I get yelled at on a pretty regular basis but these other kids parents certainly don't need to hear it.

Once I got the monster situated and myself calmed down (self inflicted time out) I had to run out. I had to deposit money into the girl scout account. Decided to drive through Burger King to get some food for the monster to eat while I waited at the bank. Should mention that the bank is inside the grocery store so I was planning on picking some stuff up while I was already out.

Did the drive thru thing at BK. Waited 10 minutes from when I pulled up to place my order until when they gave me the bag. No thanks , no nothing. Ok, whatever right?? So, I go across the street to the grocery. Get a prime parking spot. Open the back door to get the kid out, grab the bag or food and NO potatoes. Now, normally, not such a big deal right? But I made the mistake of asking the baby if she wanted POTATOES. So, she's expecting them. Not a good thing.

Next step is into the store. Go over to the bank and hmmm, lets see, one teller working with the guy in front of me for 12 whole stinking minutes. I know, I'm anal and I like to know how long I've been standing here trying to entertain my kid so she doesn't start screaming at everyone else. There is another woman sitting at the desk. She even walked to the teller to help her do something. So,I wait and wait and wait.

Finally get on to shopping, by the time we get to the check out I end up picking the wrong lane and sit there forever waiting for this older couple in front of me to get finished. This cashier was nice enough. That's one of the things I drove all the way over there for, they're customer service is exceptional.

As I've been shopping I decided to go back to Burger King and get my hashbrowns. It really isn't the two dollars. It's about the fact that this particular bk sucks. This isnt' the first time they've 'forgotten' something in my order. So, I park, go in and I keep thinking, just smile and let them know that they forgot my stuff. Of course I get crab manager asking 'what's your problem' I guess they get loads of problems. I didn't even make it up to the counter.

Got home. Got the food into the house. Got my crab onto the toilet and she finally got rid of some extra weight. No wonder she's been so nice to everyone. I guess I'm going to have to start threatening her with those nasty little suppositories if she doesn't start going on a regular basis. I know, I know, tmi but she hasn't gone since Thursday. I'm going to have to start keeping track again. I thought we were past that.

She's sleeping and I'm trying to give all my drama away.

I'm tired. I've been on the verge of tears for days now. I just need a break but one without guilt. I hate that I can't sit down and do nothing without feeling guilty that I need to be doing something. My parents are coming...less than three weeks. My house is tore up from the floor up.